MORE DANY HEATLEY RUMORS!

Just kidding, those have died down. Want to know why? Here's a good mediocre story:

People often ask what I like to do in my free time. I respond by saying, "talking to crazy people of course!" I talk to these crazy people about hockey. Today I talked to several people. Here they are:

Nobody:
Everybody:
Dany Heatley:And of course... me:Unknown Location

Dany Heatley: Who are you! And why are you in this unknown location?!
Me: Oh I just like to hang out here.
Dany Heatley: Okie dokie. Who are you again?
Me: I'm just a big Sharks fan.
Dany Heatley: I see...

Me: So... uh whats up?
Dany Heatley: Nothing really. I've been bored so I decided to mess with people.
Me: How so?
Dany Heatley: Ah, just demanding a few trades here and there.
Me: Dany, if you're going to act like this, nobody is going to like you.

Nobody enters the Unknown Location

Nobody: You know Dany... I've been noticing you around.
Dany Heatley: wtf?
Nobody: I really like you.
Dany Heatley: Thanks a lot man!
Me: I wouldn't really like it if nobody liked me.
Dany Heatley: You're just jealous nobody doesn't like you.
Me: Of course nobody doesn't like you. They had a huge fight a while ago.
Dany Heatley: okay... I'm confused now.
Me: No, you're Dany Heatley.
Dany Heatley: This isn't funny anymore.
Me: Who's this?
Dany Heatley: Is this why everybody hates you?

Everybody enters the Unknown Location

Everybody: Actually Dany, I really like me. He's awesome.
Dany Heatley: Okay, okay, okay. I've had enough with this! You said you were a Sharks fan correct?
Me: Yup.
Dany Heatley: I'm going to stop demanding a trade now just so I won't be traded to the Sharks, because I'd hate my life if you were a fan of a team I'm on.
Me: Alright.
Everybody: Woohoo! No Dany Heatley on the Sharks!
Nobody: But I really like Dany.

And THAT is how I convinced Dany Heatley NOT to go to the Sharks.

This post was inspired by the Plank dude.